i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
