Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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