Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
