Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
