You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
