and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
