so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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