Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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