She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
