I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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