What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
