everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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