It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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