For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch