I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
