Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
