As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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