He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
