i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
