Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
