Four minutes until I can fart!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
