Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake