Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..