yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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