dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
