There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
