I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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