Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
