But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
