Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
