The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
