You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize