...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
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For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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