she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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