He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
