my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
