So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
