Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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