I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize