So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
