Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
