I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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