i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
