No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
