Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
