Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Randomize
