His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
