it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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