i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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