whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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