on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
