I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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