I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
