That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
