This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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