Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize