Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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