I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
