its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
