I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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